I’m Not Fat

Hollywood gossip is kind of like cheap Mexican food. It’s delicious while you’re getting into it, but makes you sick in the end that you even did so. I can’t believe that Khloe Kardashian was actually called fat. If she’s fat, then I’m a whale! A WHALE. She’s absolutely fit and gorgeous. She dropped 20 lbs for her wedding. I could hardly drop 20 lbs in a YEAR! Looking through all the best people list sites online and on the supermarket rags makes me sick to my stomach (or maybe just sick OF my stomach). I mean, the sexiest photos from America’s Next Top Model seasons come from the slightly thicker models, right? Exactly. Being shaped like a woman isn’t a crime lately, I think it’s becoming more commonplace. Looking at these lists really makes me hope I’m right. I don’t know how much more skeletons in bikinis I can stand. Hollywood on a Saturday night might as well be a haunted house.

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